And God said unto Adam and Eve “Thoust canst stay in the Garden of Eden for Eternity, as long as thoust doth never pick the sacred Fast As Fuck t-shirt from the tree of death”

Adam abided by God’s law as he was a corporate square and sucked the metaphorical ass. He was rewarded with neon clothing, countless gear ratios and the holy map to all the trails in the land.

Eve said “Fuck that, I gotta have that dope-ass Fast As Fuck Tee”

She plucked it, donned it and strutted it forever more. God was furious at her insubordination and individual choice and cast her out of the Kingdom. She was stripped of any decals, her chain destroyed and forced to learn hard work, dedication and respect by building her own trails, unlike that laurel resting twat Adam. 

Although life was harder for Eve, she drew solace in that her t-shirt was a t-shirt of God....


This is that T-Shirt


6 colour screen print on a Natural (un-dyed) coloured tshirt, made from a blend of sustainably sourced Hemp (55%) and Organic Cotton (45%) 

front print t-shirt

Un-died 55% hemp 45% Organic cotton blend t-shirt